Saturday, July 4, 2009

Uganda.

It makes you wonder how it all happened, the colonization, the inequality, the poverty, all in such a beautiful country. What series of circumstances, what coincidences, what ideals and ideas came together to shape Uganda the way it did? I was talking to Isaac, a local medical student over tea yesterday, who told me that on the street if someone yelled “thief!” and pointed to a foreigner, everyone would disbelieve or avert their eyes but if someone yelled thievery and pointed to a Ugandan, local bystanders would assault the supposed thief without a second thought. What has shaped society to become this? Why aren't we like this in Canada?

My trip so far is best rememered in snapshots I think. Of the torrential rain every morning followed by sunshine and a warm day. Diesel smoke in the downtown of the capital city, Kampala, from all the diesel fumes of the private cars, matatus, boda-bodas, trucks, making the fumes into a haze so thick you can almost chew and swallow it. Rode a boda-boda for the first time yesterday, those populous little motorbikes that whiz around on small and large roads and weave through weeknight traffic. Even the locals advise against them because of the large number of lives annually they claim, and legs, arms, eyes, but for the short haul into downtown, the shot of adrenaline is worth it.

I'm greeted every morning by Ugandans both familiar and strangers, children and adults, with a “good morning, how are you?” and friendly wave as I walk to work. In the afternoon it's “good afternoon, how are you?”, sometimes a handshake. I have yet to see an elderly person, even walking through the city center in Kampala. I see the other end of the spectrum, the births, every day at work. It's a bit different here, the decisions doctors need to make. Even more poignant are the questions of “what can we do with what we have?”. Can we deliver a malpositioned baby without a c-section, risking a stillbirth? Do we have enough supplies to last the month? Can we deal with labour pains in other ways because narcotics and epidurals aren't available? What do we do with babies who are born with cords around the neck, with bleeding into the brain, with bowel perforations, with malformations and asphyxia? How can we convince mothers to take their HIV status seriously when it's so stigmatized but so easily passed on from mother to child? Childbirth anywhere but in the western world is a messy, bloody, painful, tiring, and traumatic experience. Every baby born alive is a miracle.

I was standing in the neonatal ICU the other day, what they call the “nursery” here, barefoot and dressed in a sanitized hospital gown, looking around at all the tiny incubators with the tiny IV lines, respirators and feeding tubes. I catch myself wondering what these babies have to live for, if they ever make it out of the hospital alive. This one that was born at 1 kg birth weight, that one, who had already undergone surgery for a perforated bowel, the other one, with unexplained liver failure.

Andrew, a local medical student I'm working with in obstetrics, asked me what the meaning of life was in North America. Is it different than here in Uganda?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The wedding registry has been updated! Access it here. We use MyRegistry.com, which Sheila and I have populated with items found at different stores online such as Crate & Barrel, IKEA, Staples, etc. When you order an item through it, you ship it to my home address, and we receive an e-mail informing us of the purchase. The item is then marked as purchased for other users of the registry.

One problem we had with the registry was that Amazon.com purchases could not be shipped to Canada... kind of a problem. I've now either removed those items or replaced them with similar items available from other stores.

We set up the registry so that people uncomfortable with giving monetary gifts could have some idea of our needs and the kinds of things we'd like to bring into our new home. To make it easier for out-of-town guests and others to make donations and help us find our feet financially, we've set up an easy way to give through paypal. You can find it on our gifts page.

So with Sheila away for a month on medical elective overseas, I have become tasked with continuing the wedding preparations. I've been working on wedding details for the last week and it can be a frustrating task. Each aspect of the wedding has many details that can take hours to deal with. I spent at least two hours today looking up car rental information for the honeymoon. Not used to projects of this magnitude, I joked to a friend I had studied physics with at Columbia: "I feel like Oppenheimer at Los Alamos."

He responded: "You let me know if you find yourself saying things like 'I am become death, destroyer of worlds' -- I'm pretty sure wedding planning should not elicit that feeling." Certainly not! I hope physicists aren't the only ones that can appreciate this joke.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

I was supposed to be on my way to Africa...but our flight from Newark to Brussels was delayed for 4 hours, and we missed our Brussels to Entebbe flight. Soo now I'm stuck in Belgium for 3 days having waffles and chocolate, wandering the streets and sampling the beer...I'm a little bit in disbelief. Continental put us up in Novotel Tour Noire for a night, staying in a hostel tonight. We're flying out to Entebbe tomorrow morning first class though, which is good compensation for keeping us delayed in Europe for 2 days. Oh well, an unexpected vacation in Belgium. I need to convert some money to Euros.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Our beloved photographers have now posted some of our pre-wedding shots here
Check them out and comment! =)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Today:

It is a moment of light surrounded on all sides by darkness and oblivion. In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another just like it and there will never be another just like it again. It is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until the hour of your death. If you were aware of how precious it is, you could hardly live through it. Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all.

"This is the day which the Lord has made," say the 118th Psalm. "Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Or weep and be sad in it for that matter. The point is to see it for what it is because it will be gone before you know it. If you waste it, it is your life that you're wasting. If you look the other way, it may be the moment you've been waiting for always that you're missing.

All other days have either disappeared into darkness and oblivion or net yet emerged from them. Today is the only day there is; let us, indeed, rejoice and be glad in it!

-Frederick Buechner from Whistling in the Dark

Thursday, May 21, 2009

In New York I celebrated my commencement ceremony yesterday, completing my undergraduate studies and receiving my bachelor of science degree. There are two sides to this experience: yesterday the immense rush of marching among my peers in a long procession until campus swelled with a sea of students in full academic regalia, watching as president, provost, officers, trustees and faculty descended the steps to their places on the stage. It was a long commencement, with many honorary degrees being conferred. The university president, in his address, spoke on the need to secure our freedom of access to information in the 21st century, in an era when civil liberties are under threat and our ideals must compete in a growing global marketplace of ideas. (The graduates from the Journalism School absolutely drank up this speech. Students from other schools seemed less enchanted).

After the long ceremony and a few photos, I made my way over to my department office to say farewell to my professors and pick up my diploma. My professors were kind and congratulatory. We joked about how in physics nobody wants to talk to you about what you study. Astrophysics is a little kinder, but then people assume you're a rocket scientist, which isn't accurate. With that, and a few more greetings, I left and returned home. Much of the rest of the day and late into the night, I was busy packing the rest of my things.

The good vibes don't last long. Today my university housing officially expires. My ID card is already being rejected from every security access point on campus. I returned my mailbox key and with that resigned my New York address. I think that was the hardest part.

I'm excited and somewhat anxious for the summer. It will be good to rest, pursue reading and hobbies, prepare for the wedding and the move into the new apartment. I would wish that the summer were more low-key. If there is time, I'd like to do some more photography and editing, some reading, and try strengthening my background in astrophysics and programming before starting graduate school in the Fall. Sheila and I will keep you posted.

Monday, May 4, 2009

We found our new place!!
This is all very super exciting. It was the most unexpected thing, just like everything else that's happened to me over the past year and a half I guess... the marriage and the med school, McMaster, my own personal growth and my friendship with a certain friend of mine.
The whole apartment episode started less than a week ago, one night while I was waiting for a ride outside my current apartment building. A lady approached me, asking if it would be worth looking for an apartment in the building. The conversation ended with her offering to sublet my current place from me and our exchanging contact info. She signed the rental agreement within the next few days. Then came the flurry of searches on Kijiji, Craig's List, and every other apartment rental site indexed in Google, looking for 2 bedroom places with parking in Hamilton off mountain. When Melissa came this past weekend, we scoped out a bunch of places on Friday including a brand-new 2 bedroom with skylight on the top floor of a building, right in the center of downtown. It seemed perfect: convenient, trendy, big, new, priced well, upstairs of a coffee shop. Throughout dinner and our girls night in that night though, I grew increasingly unsettled about signing that place even though I couldn't really explain why. I didn't like the layout of the place...or something. I decided to keep looking for another week or so. After a delicious crepe brunch on Saturday morning, just as Melissa was going to take off for Toronto, I got a call from the apartment next door, which I'd wanted to scope out sometime that weekend. We went up, took a look, fell in love, and I signed the lease the very next day. 12 post-dated cheques for the next 12 months.
So now I'm packing up my current 1 bedroom place (in between wedding planning, searching for electives and learning about infectious disease) and I'll be relocating in a little less than 3 weeks! I'm so excited about the place! It has these fat black and white tiles on the kitchen and bathroom floor, detailed hardwood flooring everywhere else, two walk-in closets, fireplace in the living room, clawfoot tub, glass-paneled bookcase in the study built into the wall, south-facing windows, 10 ft. high ceilings, central AC...and importantly, I finally have parking.
Photos to come when I move all my stuff in...

Monday, April 6, 2009

Pictures from the weekend in Hamilton:








Some photos from our most recent visit to Montreal.

Near Prince Arthur.


A mural on Prince Arthur street or thereabouts.




The best name for a bistro.


At the costume shop we discovered.




This was fun.








We love Montreal.

I'm in the process of posting some photo-updates. So as far as wedding plans are progressing: we do have a veil now.



A note to future couples: you can find the same kind of veil in a costume shop as is likely to be found in a bridal shop. Veils are far more expensive than they need to be in bridal shops, so just buy one at a costume shop and don't tell anybody you bought it there. We wish that we had discovered this fact sooner. The photo from above is at David's Bridal in Queens, NY.

Other wedding progress: Invitations are slowly making their way out. I ought be dropping off more NY invites soon. Hopefully that will be done this week. I also need to update the website with more wedding details. Our registry details need more explanation. The best man and I have both been measured for our tuxes. The other groomsmen will need to get measured soon.

Friday, March 20, 2009

So let me explain that career switch Sheila was talking about. Until about a year ago I was strongly considering doing a career in fusion energy research. Through the applied physics department where I am currently finishing my undergraduate degree, I was studying plasma physics--the physics of ionized gases, which behave like fluids and can be manipulated using magnetic and electric fields. They have all kinds of special properties and combine the studies of fluid dynamics and electrodynamics. Under certain circumstances this is called magnetohydrodynamics (MHD). I did some research as an undergrad and took some classes in plasma, but started to wonder whether I'd enjoy everyday work in this field, with the end of working towards fusion energy production.

Instead, I began to reconsider a subject I had long since left by the wayside, figuring I wanted to do more applied work: I began to reconsider doing astrophysics. This came after receiving some career advise from different unusual sources: a faculty dinner with a neuroscientist and a neurosurgeon, as well as a life-issues discussion over coffee with my friend Stephanie. From the former I learned that I ought to be considering what I could see myself doing from day to day, and from the latter I was able to find peace being a "useless" career academic, rather than having a more "applied" type job. People keep telling me I don't fit the engineering school mold. (I masquerade as a liberal arts student, taking philosophy, literature and music classes).

So I was excited to take up astrophysics again. I am looking at doing computational astrophysics. Explanation: I will be using computer simulations to study stars, planets and galaxies. Simulation is a powerful tool for testing our theories and for giving us new research directions. I've been accepted at McMaster University to study this. I will be beginning graduate work there in September. Since describing my work has probably already alienated most of our audience (sorry Sheila), here's a video from YouTube to give you an idea of what computational astrophysicists do. This is a simulation of a collision between two galaxies, ostensibly ours and the M31 Andromeda galaxy.



Sheila is marrying a dork.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

So more big news (it seems like for the past year, my life has been one "big news" after another).

First of all, Mikhail was accepted the other day into the Astrophysics department at McMaster, meaning that now, officially, we can plan to move in together after the honeymoon in August. It's definitely very exciting; it means I finally get to pull out my IKEA catalogue again and tag pages of furniture to match my white and red apartment color scheme. It also means that in my "spare time" I can apartment shop for a new loft or 2 bdrm place nearby and fill the registry with more "household" items. It's also much of a relief...it assures us that we'll be together for the next two years. It was a decision we'd made a while ago, the one to be together, but it's nice to have confirmation that things are working out to move us closer together. Astrophysics has been a bit of a career switch for Mikhail, from fusion energy to black holes, but it's probably something that'll be much more fun. I can let him tell you guys about that part.

Secondly, I'm going to Uganda in July with a team of med students from Mac. I'll be there for a month working obs/gyn, internal medicine, surgery. There are about 16 of us in total from my class, not all of us going at the same time. We'll be spread out over at least three different hospitals - two in Kampala, the capital city, and one in Mbarara near the Rwandan border. I'm aiming to go to Mbarara...and not just because it's close to the greatest national parks in all of Africa! I also mean to help people, really.
It's finally happening though; going on medical missions to Africa has always been my dream. And I'm sure it won't be exactly as I've dreamed, or even close, but it'll be one of those life-changing experiences both career-wise and character-wise. I guess I'm feeling a whole mix of things, all of elation, excitement, anxiety, apprehension and contentment all rolled into one. The last, contentment, just because everything's now falling into place. My pursuit of medicine, moving out, the wedding, my future husband's career. We've both received scholarships, his for Astro and mine for Uganda; God is taking care of us.

Not to say that med school is a breeze. It has definitely been (and is still/will be) a struggle balancing the amount of time I have my head in my laptop with the time I have a stethoscope around my neck with the time I have to myself, sleeping, hanging out with friends, talking to my fiancé. But it's that slow lesson that all (future) doctors need to learn: that you'll never know everything about medicine, or be able to help everyone you want to help; someday I hope to get close to being right at balancing all the right things in life.

But now the clock is ticking and I need to cook dinner, organize my notes, pay my bills, take a shower and learn all there is to know about chronic renal failure before I go to bed tonight. Maybe my beloved fiancé will be the next to post.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

New York is always a gastronomical adventure.
Three weeks ago, I was in the City again visiting after finishing up a grueling unit on gastroenterology and endocrinology. It was a great five-day vacation in New York. I did tons of shopping (but proud to say that I didn't spend that much!), picked up a veil at David's Bridal, and of course spent good quality time with Mikhail. Since we'd mentally postponed our "Valentine's Day" of the previous week, we went out some place special for our own Vday. Check out the Spice Market:


Great food presentation! And it was super tasty. Some kind of Vietnamese, Indian, Thai fusion...delicious!


This is where we sat for dinner. Notice the really cool pseudo-Indian temple structure in the background. Definitely brownie points of ambiance.

We also went to a bar called Fat Baby, which I made Jon Ho yell out three or four times over the phone that morning because I couldn't catch what he was saying. Street noise, what can I say... Something about "stat abie" or "tat tabee"...he ended up just saying "like a fat kid". And I got it. Jon's band, Patrick Murphy, played there one Thursday night. They were very groovy, very chill. Nice job guys.

Friday, January 23, 2009

So here come the updates. Sheila was just writing about all the big changes that are happening very quickly and, indeed, we've really seen big shifts in our thinking. It's been sobering to think about life less in terms of one's own ambitions, but how the ambitions of two people can be joined together. The changes that have happened over the last year that are bringing us to an early wedding date and an early time in our lives were not really things we could have foreseen or predicted then, but had to trust that in the right time, things would fall into place. So it's been a trying, but also miraculous, year for us both.

Below, I've attached some photos taken last month when we got together with Sheila's bridesmaids to work on assembling the invitations for the wedding. Enjoy!



I was obviously the hardest-working member of the assembly team.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

It's 2009!
Mikhail and I were talking on the phone the other day about how, after the passing of the new year, everything seems accelerated. The wedding plans are gearing up, decisions need to be made, weekends in Montreal need to be planned, dates need to be set and there are just over 200 days left until The Day. In addition to all of those things, an apartment in Hamilton needs to be found for the fall for the two of us, plans need to be made for moving and getting a car, summer plans need to be solidified...There's just too much to think about.
Honestly, it still feels a little whirlwind, a little hard to believe. We're both still incredulous at the fact that we're at this stage in life, that we're not kids, or teens, or "just university students" anymore. I remember thinking, one year ago, that there was so long until we could be married. We weren't sure a year ago when the wedding would happen or what it would look like. And looking forward even now, August seems such a long way away. At the same time, it's all coming a little too fast. And even though Pastor Chan has assured us repeatedly in pre-marital counseling that we're ready for this, and that because we're pledged to each other that we're pretty much already married, it still feels a bit strange to me to think of myself as a wife.
I'm really a grownup now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I wanted to post an update: we've now officially booked the reception hall for the wedding. We'll be hosting the reception at Montreal's Musée des Beaux-Arts, in their Hall of Mirrors (pictured unadorned below). We both feel like the receipt of confirmation is an important milestone in the long process of planning the wedding and it gives us some relief knowing that this part is complete. There was confusion surrounding the issue of insurance and to be sure, not all issues surrounding the reception have been sorted out. We still need to sort out music, a DJ, a sound system, etc. We've selected a caterer for the event and we'll surely have more logistics to go over with them as well. We're still thrilled that things are progressing and that this one important piece has been laid down.

I uploaded a few photos from our most recent visit to the Musée this past August.

Sitting on the "cow" together.

A photo of the Michal and Renata Hornstein Pavilion, on the north side of Sherbrooke street in Montreal.

A photo of the hall itself, without any chairs, tables or flowers. But we had Joelle and Keith!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It’s been a year since Mikhail told me that if I was to be involved with any man, he would want it to be him. And what a year it’s been. It’s also been almost a year since we started talking about marriage. The journey has been rough in some places, but has given us ecstatic rushes in others. We have learnt invaluable lessons about communication and eloquence, patience, timing, contentment, idolatry, and have found a much richer meaning in our lives than we otherwise would have discovered had we not discovered each other. Maybe the hardest part is over. Maybe the hardest part is still to come. In ten years we will look back at this period in our lives probably with a mix of amusement, admiration at the ordeal we had to go through and relief that it’s over. Waiting is excruciatingly difficult sometimes. At other times, we’re able to enjoy our time apart as a time of stretching and growing, and a time of learning life lessons that better prepare us for married life.

The biggest issue we’ve recently wrestled with, and are slowly coming to terms with, has to do with living a purposeful and meaningful life, a life that does not follow worldly conventions but one that is deeply spiritual. We’ve observed the all consuming drive of North American culture to be highly educated, well-liked, and successful in career. We feel the pressures, as much as the rest of you, our readers, to conform to the expectations of the culture we live in – to pursue the highest level of education possible for the sake of being educated and for the prestige of that final degree, to be well-off and live a comfortable life. But there is a way to live life differently, more vibrantly, carving our own niche in the face of all of that expectation.

The next year will be one of those life-changing years. We still don’t know what to expect, but we know that it’ll be good. We’re well taken care of.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Some photos from the weekend in Hamilton and Toronto:

Making faces in the mirror.


Sheila shoots me reading about South East Asian tribal civilization at the Royal Ontario Museum.


Sheila is all distraught that the "gems and minerals" exhibit is under renovation.


But at least she was pleased with the dinosaurs.


Another photo of me in clothes I don't actually own and can't really afford.

I got back from Hamilton early this morning. I took an overnight bus out of Toronto, arriving in New York City at 7 am. The air was cold and Penn Station was already full of people on their way to work. I took my luggage and descended into the subway and promptly caught the 1 Train headed uptown. I arrived back at my "home" at about 7:45 am and went to sleep shortly thereafter. I got two hours of solid rest after ten hours aboard a moving and shaking bus.

Life has been moving far too quickly. I think I owe it to the curious readers to explain some of the more important decisions that Sheila and I have been making and our upcoming life changes. For a variety of reasons, not the least of which have been my desire to support Sheila as she pursues medical school, to establish my personal career bearings and rest from the frantic, almost destructive, pace of life at Columbia in New York City, I have decided to take a kind of sabbatical. Upon graduation next year, and after our marriage, I will be moving to Hamilton. I will seek employment to help support our life together. My ambition is still to complete my studies in physics at some reputable university, but in precisely which specialty or at which university is still unclear to me. I have feared accusations of squandering my talents, or derailing my future, in taking a course of action that removes from academics for a year or more. To my accusers I reply that they do not understand the full weight of this decision, the personal struggle that both preceded and followed it, nor my changing perspectives which place a greater importance on the integrity and unity of the marriage relationship that Sheila and I will share. During our joint stay in Hamilton, Sheila will be challenged with a more demanding phase of medical school and it is not one that I would wish her to face alone. For myself, I believe it necessary that I withdraw from formal academics while I weigh my career goals for the future. The timing of everything seemed awkward at first, but at present we see it with greater clarity. It makes more sense to us this way. Once Sheila's tenure at medical school is complete and she engages residency opportunities, I can make my own graduate school applications together with her. Then we will see what opportunities open for us, and which doors God opens and which He closes. It took a great deal of emotional turmoil for me to reach this conclusion, but now I have peace over it and I have great hope and great anticipation for this chapter of our life together.

This past weekend was spent in Hamilton and Toronto, together with Sheila. Though I had visited on two occasions previously, this time I saw it with new eyes. I looked about Hamilton, what felt like a sleepy old steel town, as my new home. This strange sensation overtook me in almost every shop we entered. These would be my neighbors. These would be my new haunts: the bookstore with the surprisingly rich collection of literature; the coffee shop with the mishmash of old wooden chairs and small tables, original artwork on the walls, and a proprietor that seemed to switch between this very imperial British accent and a homey Ontario one. Stuck onto the glass of her cupboard in her little shop was a cutout photograph of Queen Elizabeth. Old artifacts of British loyalism abounded in this steel town of a half million residents. This was especially funny for me to see after being raised in French Quebec and then spending several years in the American liberal epicenter of Manhattan. I found the street names (York, King, Queen, James, Locke,...) strangely comforting.

The people, too, were generally quite friendly. Even the teenagers, for all their rebellious ostentation, still shouted their thanks to the front of the bus before debarking. I found this amusing. The contrast was clear when this morning, in Penn Station, I saw expletives adorn one individual's shirt as I moved among the crowds of busy people.

There was one more remarkable experience I feel I should write about and that was our experiences at the church we visited on Sunday. Sheila and I both feel like we have found our new "home" church. Philpott Memorial was very welcoming and the pastor spoke with genuine candor and conviction. He struck us as a man of great learning and great character, knowledgeable in philosophy and psychology, deeply appreciative of the arts, and full of grace. His vision of Christ's gospel is much like the one I have come to love at my New York church of Apostles. It is one of grace and justice; hope now for a fullness of life and meaning, restoration from brokenness into community with others, with Creation, and with God. The pastor confessed that his own personal disposition was one of melancholy (much like my own), but that he lived for a hope and power that could trump that nature and imbue life with fullness, with "zoe".

All these things greatly encouraged me, and it was a really refreshing weekend to spend with my fiancée. I'm sorry that I have been so slow to update, but I hope that you found this interesting and worth reading.

 
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