Friday, January 23, 2009

So here come the updates. Sheila was just writing about all the big changes that are happening very quickly and, indeed, we've really seen big shifts in our thinking. It's been sobering to think about life less in terms of one's own ambitions, but how the ambitions of two people can be joined together. The changes that have happened over the last year that are bringing us to an early wedding date and an early time in our lives were not really things we could have foreseen or predicted then, but had to trust that in the right time, things would fall into place. So it's been a trying, but also miraculous, year for us both.

Below, I've attached some photos taken last month when we got together with Sheila's bridesmaids to work on assembling the invitations for the wedding. Enjoy!



I was obviously the hardest-working member of the assembly team.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

It's 2009!
Mikhail and I were talking on the phone the other day about how, after the passing of the new year, everything seems accelerated. The wedding plans are gearing up, decisions need to be made, weekends in Montreal need to be planned, dates need to be set and there are just over 200 days left until The Day. In addition to all of those things, an apartment in Hamilton needs to be found for the fall for the two of us, plans need to be made for moving and getting a car, summer plans need to be solidified...There's just too much to think about.
Honestly, it still feels a little whirlwind, a little hard to believe. We're both still incredulous at the fact that we're at this stage in life, that we're not kids, or teens, or "just university students" anymore. I remember thinking, one year ago, that there was so long until we could be married. We weren't sure a year ago when the wedding would happen or what it would look like. And looking forward even now, August seems such a long way away. At the same time, it's all coming a little too fast. And even though Pastor Chan has assured us repeatedly in pre-marital counseling that we're ready for this, and that because we're pledged to each other that we're pretty much already married, it still feels a bit strange to me to think of myself as a wife.
I'm really a grownup now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I wanted to post an update: we've now officially booked the reception hall for the wedding. We'll be hosting the reception at Montreal's Musée des Beaux-Arts, in their Hall of Mirrors (pictured unadorned below). We both feel like the receipt of confirmation is an important milestone in the long process of planning the wedding and it gives us some relief knowing that this part is complete. There was confusion surrounding the issue of insurance and to be sure, not all issues surrounding the reception have been sorted out. We still need to sort out music, a DJ, a sound system, etc. We've selected a caterer for the event and we'll surely have more logistics to go over with them as well. We're still thrilled that things are progressing and that this one important piece has been laid down.

I uploaded a few photos from our most recent visit to the Musée this past August.

Sitting on the "cow" together.

A photo of the Michal and Renata Hornstein Pavilion, on the north side of Sherbrooke street in Montreal.

A photo of the hall itself, without any chairs, tables or flowers. But we had Joelle and Keith!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It’s been a year since Mikhail told me that if I was to be involved with any man, he would want it to be him. And what a year it’s been. It’s also been almost a year since we started talking about marriage. The journey has been rough in some places, but has given us ecstatic rushes in others. We have learnt invaluable lessons about communication and eloquence, patience, timing, contentment, idolatry, and have found a much richer meaning in our lives than we otherwise would have discovered had we not discovered each other. Maybe the hardest part is over. Maybe the hardest part is still to come. In ten years we will look back at this period in our lives probably with a mix of amusement, admiration at the ordeal we had to go through and relief that it’s over. Waiting is excruciatingly difficult sometimes. At other times, we’re able to enjoy our time apart as a time of stretching and growing, and a time of learning life lessons that better prepare us for married life.

The biggest issue we’ve recently wrestled with, and are slowly coming to terms with, has to do with living a purposeful and meaningful life, a life that does not follow worldly conventions but one that is deeply spiritual. We’ve observed the all consuming drive of North American culture to be highly educated, well-liked, and successful in career. We feel the pressures, as much as the rest of you, our readers, to conform to the expectations of the culture we live in – to pursue the highest level of education possible for the sake of being educated and for the prestige of that final degree, to be well-off and live a comfortable life. But there is a way to live life differently, more vibrantly, carving our own niche in the face of all of that expectation.

The next year will be one of those life-changing years. We still don’t know what to expect, but we know that it’ll be good. We’re well taken care of.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Some photos from the weekend in Hamilton and Toronto:

Making faces in the mirror.

Sheila shoots me reading about South East Asian tribal civilization at the Royal Ontario Museum.

Sheila is all distraught that the "gems and minerals" exhibit is under renovation.

But at least she was pleased with the dinosaurs.

Another photo of me in clothes I don't actually own and can't really afford.

I got back from Hamilton early this morning. I took an overnight bus out of Toronto, arriving in New York City at 7 am. The air was cold and Penn Station was already full of people on their way to work. I took my luggage and descended into the subway and promptly caught the 1 Train headed uptown. I arrived back at my "home" at about 7:45 am and went to sleep shortly thereafter. I got two hours of solid rest after ten hours aboard a moving and shaking bus.

Life has been moving far too quickly. I think I owe it to the curious readers to explain some of the more important decisions that Sheila and I have been making and our upcoming life changes. For a variety of reasons, not the least of which have been my desire to support Sheila as she pursues medical school, to establish my personal career bearings and rest from the frantic, almost destructive, pace of life at Columbia in New York City, I have decided to take a kind of sabbatical. Upon graduation next year, and after our marriage, I will be moving to Hamilton. I will seek employment to help support our life together. My ambition is still to complete my studies in physics at some reputable university, but in precisely which specialty or at which university is still unclear to me. I have feared accusations of squandering my talents, or derailing my future, in taking a course of action that removes from academics for a year or more. To my accusers I reply that they do not understand the full weight of this decision, the personal struggle that both preceded and followed it, nor my changing perspectives which place a greater importance on the integrity and unity of the marriage relationship that Sheila and I will share. During our joint stay in Hamilton, Sheila will be challenged with a more demanding phase of medical school and it is not one that I would wish her to face alone. For myself, I believe it necessary that I withdraw from formal academics while I weigh my career goals for the future. The timing of everything seemed awkward at first, but at present we see it with greater clarity. It makes more sense to us this way. Once Sheila's tenure at medical school is complete and she engages residency opportunities, I can make my own graduate school applications together with her. Then we will see what opportunities open for us, and which doors God opens and which He closes. It took a great deal of emotional turmoil for me to reach this conclusion, but now I have peace over it and I have great hope and great anticipation for this chapter of our life together.

This past weekend was spent in Hamilton and Toronto, together with Sheila. Though I had visited on two occasions previously, this time I saw it with new eyes. I looked about Hamilton, what felt like a sleepy old steel town, as my new home. This strange sensation overtook me in almost every shop we entered. These would be my neighbors. These would be my new haunts: the bookstore with the surprisingly rich collection of literature; the coffee shop with the mishmash of old wooden chairs and small tables, original artwork on the walls, and a proprietor that seemed to switch between this very imperial British accent and a homey Ontario one. Stuck onto the glass of her cupboard in her little shop was a cutout photograph of Queen Elizabeth. Old artifacts of British loyalism abounded in this steel town of a half million residents. This was especially funny for me to see after being raised in French Quebec and then spending several years in the American liberal epicenter of Manhattan. I found the street names (York, King, Queen, James, Locke,...) strangely comforting.

The people, too, were generally quite friendly. Even the teenagers, for all their rebellious ostentation, still shouted their thanks to the front of the bus before debarking. I found this amusing. The contrast was clear when this morning, in Penn Station, I saw expletives adorn one individual's shirt as I moved among the crowds of busy people.

There was one more remarkable experience I feel I should write about and that was our experiences at the church we visited on Sunday. Sheila and I both feel like we have found our new "home" church. Philpott Memorial was very welcoming and the pastor spoke with genuine candor and conviction. He struck us as a man of great learning and great character, knowledgeable in philosophy and psychology, deeply appreciative of the arts, and full of grace. His vision of Christ's gospel is much like the one I have come to love at my New York church of Apostles. It is one of grace and justice; hope now for a fullness of life and meaning, restoration from brokenness into community with others, with Creation, and with God. The pastor confessed that his own personal disposition was one of melancholy (much like my own), but that he lived for a hope and power that could trump that nature and imbue life with fullness, with "zoe".

All these things greatly encouraged me, and it was a really refreshing weekend to spend with my fiancée. I'm sorry that I have been so slow to update, but I hope that you found this interesting and worth reading.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I was perusing Amazon.com for a toaster about a month ago, because my roommate wanted to get one for the kitchen. We kept it pretty vanilla, in the end, but I was terribly tempted to get what must be described as a toaster from outer space! Check it out!
Isn't it wonderful?! Ironically the brand of this toaster is "Back to Basics."

Hint hint wedding present!