Wednesday, May 9, 2007

What are the most important things in life?
More and more often I find myself questioning, examining and re-examining the activities, the committments and the ins and outs of daily life we take so for granted. Working in the ICU has doubled the frequency of my musings and has given me some startling reminders.
See, it's not the very sick ICU patients that are disturbing - one patient I saw today was on a respirator, had five EKG pads, one brachial arterial line, a few venous IV lines, a defibrillator, a foley catheter, NG feeding tube, and no less than four chest drains coming out of her. There isn't one more line we could have put into her to help her live. Yet she had family surrounding her bedside.
No, the most disturbing patients are those who are completely and utterly alone; sick and without family.
I wonder if they feel the loneliness and despair and hopelessness that I can imagine I would feel being in their place. I wonder if they ever long for visitors as they look on at their roomates' families and friends sitting at bedside. Sometimes I wonder if they are proud of their achievements and successes then. If they think back to the things they've done in life so far and smile fondly at their accomplishments. Do they feel that they've been a good person, that they've made a difference in the world or do they wish for a second chance at life?
Imagine being hooked up to tubes that breathe for you, eat for you, monitor your vitals and make your heart beat. What would life look like then?